Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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