Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
