i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
