these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
