I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
