oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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