i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
