Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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