i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
