We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
