Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
