I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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