I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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