I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's like heaven, but drunker
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
