i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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