I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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