I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
