Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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