i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
