I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
