And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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