Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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