Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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