It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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