Me too!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
