I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
