if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
