drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
