Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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