12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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