i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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