his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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