I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
