this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
