There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
