Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
