I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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