just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize