I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
