Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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