Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
