Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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