Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
