Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
