His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he was CRYING into my vagina
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
