look no pants
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My ass is underappreciated
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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