Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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