I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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