susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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