a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
