porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
