there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize