Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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