i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
