am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
