I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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