help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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