I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need moral support for this bender
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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