he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
