Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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