Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
