Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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