So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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