Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're a waste of cheezeits
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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